Here is the meeting agenda you received:
Project Status Review Meeting
1. Current Status of Project ABC
Horrible stock image. They do look happy though.
2. Sub-committee reports
A. Operations
B. Communications
C. Marketing
D. IT
E. Finance
F. Anyone else we forgot (HR?)
3. Review of high-level Project plans
4. Open Issues
5. Discuss next meeting
Based on what actually happens at most of these kinds of meetings, here's a take on the revised agenda:
Project Status Review Meeting
1. Current Status - and yes, we will continue to meet about this project until the last bit of light and hope has been extinguished from your soul
2. Sub-committee Reports
A. Operations - Oh yeah, nothing says 'efficiency' like bullet points with cool animations!
B. Communications - what do they do again? They never seem to make any sense.
C. You have likely faded out already, but it will be your turn soon.
D. Strange guy from Purchasing that wears suspenders. Or is it Shipping? Same thing I guess.
E. They really need to supply donuts at these meetings.
F. Guy from Finance who keeps talking to himself under his breath. That is weird.
G. Dude that works from home, who always has a dodgy phone connection, and no one has ever seen
H. WAKE UP! It's your turn!!!!
I. Relax you gave your 2 minute update, the other 58 minutes of your life, well, just let them go.
J. Couldn't we have just posted all this on the Project Management system ? What's that? Oh right, we don't have one.
3. Time to break out the iPhone. The rest of the attendees will think you are a jerk, but it's worth it. You are multi-tasking darn it! Once the MS Project handouts get passed around the table, your eyes will glaze over anyway and you need something to keep alert.
4. Open Issues? Yes, I have one. Why are there no donuts at these meetings? I guess I have another one, what does 'work at home' guy really do? Are you sure he even works here?
5. Next meeting - No, please don't make me go through this again. Unless there are donuts.
I know what you are thinking, another hack post about time wasted in meetings, offering no solutions, not a shred of insight, and perhaps wasting your time just as much as the badly run meetings that it attempts to (lamely) lampoon.
So now I am forced to offer this suggestion - at your next 'Project Status Review Meeting' or close approximation in your organization, take the 'official' agenda and during the meeting mark it up with what truly happens, with what you are actually thinking, and what the true agenda should have been.
Then let me know how far off the mark I was.