Regrets of the retiring

There is a pretty internet-famous post titled, 'Regrets of the Dying', written by Bronnie Ware a long-time nurse who worked with serously ill and terminal patients. Her 'regrets' post was really a summary and distillation of what she had heard over the years from patients, most very ill and dying, when they talked about what they might have regretted in their lives.The article, and the five most common regrets are not that really surprising or hard to guess, ('I wish I didn't work so hard', interestingly made the list), and is worth a read.

I'm not sure what led me to stumble upon the 'regrets' piece, but after reading it I had to wonder if there actually were some parallels to people's lifetime regrets and their workplace or professional regrets, besides the stated regret of wishing they had not worked so hard. After all, for many, work is such a massive part of life, and often, ones happiness or at least contentment can be profoundly influenced by their feelings (and regrets) about their life's work.

In case you didn't click over to Bronnie's piece, here are the top five 'Regrets of the Dying':

1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the one that was expected of me

2. I wish I didn't work so hard

3. I wished I had the courage to express my feelings

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5. I wish I had let myself be happier

In a way, most of if not all of these regrets can have direct equivalents to the choices we make, or feel we have to make, in our professional lives. How many of us took a college major in a 'safe' subject like business or economics, rather than what we might have been more interested or passionate about? It might have been the 'right' decision but it could have and often does send people down a path they never wanted to head. Or how often have we worked ourselves silly because we thought we had to, and perhaps missed out on fleeting moments in our families or children's lives? And if you are like me, no doubt you've lost touch with lots of your earliest workplace colleagues and mentors that sometimes you wish you could re-connect with today. And lastly, even though in these really tough economic times, being 'happy' at work can be considered a luxury and not a necessity, for how many of us is there nagging feeling that our best years that should be filled with our best work are slipping away just a little bit more every day.

I don't mean this post to be such a downer, (after a quick scan it seems pretty darn depressing I think), but I would rather just draw your attention to the list from Bronnie Ware if for no other reason to make anyone who takes a few minutes to read the piece, and think about the list of regrets, to consider if there is something missing in their work lives, and if truly, something should be done to make some, even small, changes.

I just think while it can be very hard, incredibly hard, it is probably even worse to call it a career someday and wish you had really been true to yourself, even just a little bit more.

Comments

[Lois Melbourne]

Steve, I believe it is very important to consider these things often. Instead of letting it be a downer, consider it an uplifting opportunity to evaluate the here and now and make the changes that allow you to have the legacy impact you really want.

It might also be helpful, to avoid getting overwhelmed with the list, to see where in your life you can make changes to even one of your wishes. When you start with one, it makes it easier to impact the others too.

Quickest example, I have used LinkedIn to reachout and find people I worked with when I first graduated from college. I thanked them for their impact and now one of them is back to being a friend in my life.

Great post - great reminders.
cheers
Lois

[Steve]

Thanks Lois - and I agree with you about taking maybe one item off a list like this and thinking about it and working on making it more aligned with what you really want. Definitely great advice.