GUEST POST: Diet Sodas, Ranked
SteveEditor's Note: Today, in a very special event on the Steve Boese blog, and perhaps becoming a regular Friday feature, we present very, very important guest post.
Today's post is from none other than the former child star of TVs 'Blossom', Tim Sackett, now an HR and recruiting guru/jedi/pundit. Prior to achieving success in the world of HR and recruiting, Tim worked the county fair and carnival circuit for many years and is purported to have created numerous innovations that persist today, but sadly are not credited to Tim. Let's just say if you've ever had a spin on the Tilt-a-Whirl you probably owe Tim a thank you.
Tim has always been known to have an opinion (or three), on just about anything, and since the 'Ranked' series on the blog here has turned into such a viral sensation, Tim felt compelled to weigh in on a topic that hits very close to home for HR pros: Diet Sodas.
Enjoy!
Diet Sodas, Ranked
by Tim Sackett
Why the hell are we ranking Diet Sodas on a HR Technology blog? Because we can! Also, if you don't know, diet soda is the life-blood of most great HR pros. I know some of you will say coffee, but that's because you're not really an HR pro. Diet soda is the drink of choice for true HR pros for a number of reasons:
- It doesn't give you bad breath and great HR pros actually talk to employees
- It's less expensive than Starbucks, and HR pros are underpaid
- It's crisp, clean and refreshing! (Oh wait, wasn't that a commercial)
Anyway, for those who know me, you know I have a diet soda addiction. I currently consume about eight diet sodas a day, that range in size from 12oz to the 32oz we-must-be-in-union-negotiations sized cups. Heck, I drink to cans of Diet Dew before I even get to work in pull into work in the morning at 7:30am!
So, let's break down the Top 10 Diet Sodas of all time:
#10 - Tab
The original was the best, it caused cancer in lab rats. I had a volleyball coach in high school that drank a 12 pack of Tab a day! He never got cancer. Tab was one of the first attempts at major drink manufacturers to make and market a diet soda. It tasted like aluminum and the after taste was so strong you could still taste it an hour later, but it was so addicting!
#9 - Fresca
A grapefruit flavored diet drink. Fresca means 'fresh' in Spanish, which doesn't describe this drink at all, but I love the marketing! Fresca seems to be the perfect drink for older HR pros, who love cats and lean cuisine. Strong after taste, but overall not an awful option when it comes to diet soda flavors.
#8 - Diet 7Up
Let's face it, no one really drinks Diet 7Up unless you have an upset stomach, or you're mixing it with whiskey. I would actually question the sanity of an individual at work just drinking a Diet 7Up just because they wanted to. I've had a can Diet 7Up in my refrigerator going on 9 years now. Same can, no one ever wants it. It actually was one of the first diet sodas I ever tasted, that actually tasted close to the original.
#7 - Diet Barq's Root Beer
Really all Diet root beer tastes the same. Which is actually quite good if you like the taste of root beer. The problem is most people stop drinking root beer around 15 years of age, when it stops being cool to drink something with 'beer' in the name, when you can just drink beer. All that being said, diet root beers changed the game for diet soda manufacturers because they were forced to develop diet drinks that didn't taste awful.
#6 - Diet Sprite
Unlike Diet 7Up, Diet Sprite became cool enough to drink, thanks mostly do the a marketing agreement Coke got with the NBA to market Sprite to kids. Somehow, dumb parents around the country began to believe that "Sprite" was like a healthy alternative to Coke, because it was caffeine free. By that association, with the NBA, Diet Sprite became a clear diet soda drink of choice for professionals trying to act like they were cutting back on caffeine.
#5 - Diet Sunkist Orange
Really, put any flavor of Sunkist at this level - orange, grape, red drink, etc. Like root beer, these flavored diet sodas actually taste really good. It's like a candy treat in the middle of the day, minus all the calories. Sure you have to put up with some snickers from your co-workers for drinking a kids soda, but it doesn't matter because it tastes so good!
#4 - Diet Dr. Pepper
The first diet soda to sell itself as 'tasting' like the original. It wasn't the first, but they marketed it better than anyone else for that purpose and it got a lot of people to try it. Also, it lived up to its billing, for the most part. Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper (wait, where have I heard that before?).
#3 - Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry & Diet Cherry Coke
Turns out if you add "Cherry" to any diet soda it makes it better!
#2 - Diet Coke
Okay, confession time. If we had an actual vote of HR pros and favorite diet soda, Diet Coke would win by a landslide. But, that's only the case because most HR Pros are just sheep and follow the heard! The actual best-tasting diet cola drink is Diet Pepsi by far, but Coke adds a special chemical to their soda to make it more addictive (or at least that's what I read on Reddit). HR Pros love Diet Coke, and are very brand loyal (hat tip: Jennifer McClure).
#1 - Diet Mt. Dew
If God him or herself had to pick only one diet soda to drink the rest of their life it would be Diet Mt. Dew. Part nectar of the gods, part crack cocaine, Diet Dew is the best drink ever made. Not best diet drink, best drink! If given the option of having an HRIS system or a Diet Mt. Dew soda fountain in my office, I would always choose Diet Dew!
Hit me in the comments - what's your favorite diet soda and why?
Steve here - solid stuff Tim. I probably would have had Diet Dr. Pepper a little higher, but that is because I have been pushing hard for them to sponsor the HR Happy Hour Show.
And as always you can disagree with these rankings, but of course you would be wrong.
Have a great weekend!
Reader Comments (5)
You left off what I consider 2nd best, Diet A&W. Diet Coke is number one. If you don't believe me, ask Jennifer McClure, Matt Stollak and Mary Faulkner to name a very few.
From a coffee and soda junkie, I appreciate the list. But you left of the Zeros! And my favorite Dr.Pepper 10! They are so much better than their 'diet' cousins!
Obviously, this post was rigged by Pepsi Co. Diet Coke is the equivalent of happiness - and HR pros definitely need more happy in their lives. Plus, it's just plain delicious. :)
I think the 'Zeros' are a little bit of a cop out. I would probably have Diet Dr. Pepper at #1 and Diet Coke at #2. Not a fan of Diet Pepsi at all.
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