GUEST POST: Girl Scout Cookies, Ranked
SteveEditor's Note: Today, in a very special event on the Steve Boese blog, we present a very, very rare guest post.
Today's post is from none other than the mighty Matt 'akaBruno' Stollak, Professor of Many Things at St. Norbert College, father or twins, founding member of The 8 Man Rotation, and all around swell guy. Matt's past is a little less clear, some say in 1935 he ran guns to Ethiopia, and in 1936 he fought in Spain on the loyalist side. I like to think he may have killed a man, but that's the romantic in me.
Nonetheless, and without delay, I present Matt's take on a very, very important topic: Girl Scout Cookies. Enjoy!
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Girl Scout Cookies, Ranked
By Matthew Stollak
If you aren’t already aware, it’s Girl Scout Cookie season. If the Girl Scouts haven’t already been to your front door selling their wares, they are waiting outside your local supermarket, or a dutiful parent is pitching them at your office.
I’m on record as stating that Girl Scout cookies are mediocre, but you’ll buy them anyway. So, if you have to purchase them, here’s the definitive 2016 ranking.
12. Caramel deLites/Samoas – Controversial, I know. It has chocolate, it has caramel. But, it also contains the devil’s floss – toasted coconut. Worst!
11. Cranberry Citrus Crisps – What focus group demanded these? Is it still Thanksgiving?
10. Lemonades – There are many great icings in the world…chocolate, vanilla….yet, you choose lemon?!?!?
9. Savannah Smiles – You can try to cover the sour taste of lemon with powdered sugar, but it is still a fail. More like Savannah Frowns, I’m afraid.
8. Rah-Rah Raisins - It’s horrible to reach for a chocolate chip cookie, only to find it is oatmeal raisin. Now add yogurt and make it mass-produced, and you have something not worth cheering about.
7. Trios – Too much of everything….chocolate chips, peanut butter, oatmeal. Should work in theory, but the whole is less than its parts. (Steve here - agree, and oatmeal does not belong in cookies)
6. Toffee-tastic – Rich, buttery cookies with golden toffee bits. Add chocolate and it would move up the charts.
5. Trefoils – This is your basic shortbread cookie. Not bad, but it doesn’t wow you either.
4. Thanks-A-Lot - They take the Trefoil and add fudge to the bottom. Plus, the embossed “Thank You” is in several languages. So, not only is it tasty, it’s educational as well.
3. Do-Si-Dos/Peanut Butter Sandwich – Top 3, but could rise higher if they switched out the oatmeal cookie with the shortbread.
2. Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs – It’s a generic PB Twix.
1. Thin Mints – What else could be at the top? Especially out of the freezer, you know you’ll eat a whole sleeve.
Steve here - Thanks Matt for weighing in on this important topic.
And as always with these 'Ranked' posts, you could disagree, but you would be wrong.
Have a great weekend!
Reader Comments (5)
"The devil's floss." I'm dying.
That was a good line!
That was a nice line ! | minyak zaitun
Putting Samoas in dead last is heresy. Right off the top, your list lost all credibility! It could only be made up for by calling coconut "devil's floss". Well played, sir.
Nice post thanks for share article.
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