Founding Fathers, Ranked

It's the long Independence Day holiday weekend here in the USA as we celebrate all things America and summer and cook outs, so why not a quick rundown of some of the folks that helped make this long weekend possible?

So therefore I offer for your consideration this unresearched, incomplete, unscientific, completely subjective, and 100% accurate list of Founding Fathers, ranked.

Here goes:

10. Thomas Paine. Maybe not as well remembered as the folks who get their faces on currency and coins, but Paine's writing of Common Sense and other missives were critical to rallying support (and soldiers) for the impending War for Independence.

9. Patrick Henry. Merits inclusion on the list for breaking out the money quote of the Revolution - "Give me liberty, or give me death." Sadly for Henry, the British obliged. With the death part I mean.

8. Samuel Adams. Early rabble rouser with the Sons of Liberty and had a hand in the Boston Tea Party. Strong advocate for independence whose stock has climbed in more recent years by having a pretty decent beer named for him.

7. James Monroe. The youngest of the group, he gets props for being the guy in the boat holding the flag in the famous 'Washington crossing the Delaware' painting. Later rose to the Presidency and created the Monroe Doctrine, an important and influential element of US foreign policy for decades.

6. Alexander Hamilton. Pros: Helped create the American financial system and was the first US Secretary of the Treasury. Also the face of the underrated $10 bill. Cons: Killed in a duel by Aaron Burr. Seriously, a duel? How do you not find a better way to settle a beef?

5. James Madison. Main writer of the US Constitution, which is a pretty amazing credit. Later became the 4th US President, showing some impressive ambition as I am pretty sure if I had written the US Constitution I would have closed up shop and hit the corporate speaking circuit.

4. Thomas Jefferson. Principal author of the most famous political document in US history, the Declaration, so that has to give him a place on any such list. Also, as the third President negotiated the Louisiana Purchase for less than a year's worth of Timofey Mozgov, (nice one Lakers), and sent Lewis and Clark out on their adventure.

3. Benjamin Franklin. First American Renaissance Man - inventor, businessman, diplomat, writer, etc. Pretty much could do it all. The colonial version of the 5-tool player. Bonus points for being the face of the $100 bill. That's a baller right there.

2. John Adams. Great resume for JA. Worked on the Declaration of Independence, helped sort out the Treaty of Paris, became the first Vice President, and then the second President. Adams was an integral player in all the big events of the day. 

1. George Washington. Pretty much a no-brainer pick for the top spot. General, leader, the first President, didn't let the other guys on this list make him the King. What's not to like about the guy?

Of course you could disagree with these rankings, but you would be wrong.

Happy holiday weekend!

Pies, ranked

In collaboration with my HR Happy Hour Show Co-host, Trish McFarlane, we present the authoritative, unscientific, unresearched, subjective, and 100% accurate ranking of pies.

10. Boston Cream - (Trish says there is some controversy if this is 'pie'. It is.)

9. Banana Cream - A good way to introduce the fruit to an unwilling eater.

8. Vinegar - this is a Trish pick - it involves custard not so much vinegar. It's a midwest thing.

7. Apple - more for the nostalgia than the tasteVinegar pie

6. Cherry - Cool drink of water.

5. Lemon Meringue - How come there are not more 'meringue' pie types?

4. Peach - Very underrated pie.

3. Pecan - is 'Pe-can' or 'Pe-Kahn'? Doesn't matter.

2. Pumpkin - deserves to be eaten more than once a year

1. Key lime - 'I could eat this all day' - Trish

As always, you can disagree with these rankings, but of course, you would be wrong.

Easter candy, ranked

In preparation for the imminent arrival of everyone's favorite Bunny, your entirely unscientific, unresearched, incomplete, and 100% accurate ranking of Easter basket candies:

398 - Spiced jelly beans

397 - 11 - <big list of forgettable candies>

10. Solid chocolate bunny

9. Lindt Chocolate Carrots

8. Peeps

7. Milk Chocolate Peeps

6. Mini Robin Eggs

5. Reese's Peanut Butter Egg

4. Hollow Milk Chocolate Bunny (the best part is the hard candy bunny eyeball)

3. Cadbury Creme Egg

2. Russell Stover Marshmallow Egg

1. Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

As always, you can disagree with these rankings but of course you would be wrong. 

Have a great, long weekend, hope your basket is filled with whatever it is you love.

Movie Batmans, Ranked

This very subject was discussed in a recent conversation with four or five extremely successful business people, all of whom I would hazard to guess consider themselves very smart persons. Which just proves the world needs to know, Which movie Batman is the best movie Batman? 

So without delay I present the unscientific, unresearched, completely subjective, and yet 100% accurate list of Movie Batmans, Ranked.

6. Ben Affleck Batman - "Batman vs. Superman", 2016

Hard to say for sure until the movie comes out. But if Affleck thinks Batman is a match for Superman then he is insane. Which he is. Batman I mean. Possibly. Also, Affleck was TERRIBLE as Daredevil.

5. Val Kilmer Batman - "Batman Forever", 1995

Should have held out for a "Top Gun" remake instead of donning the cape and cowl.

4. George Clooney Batman - "Batman & Robin", 1997

Possibly the worst overall movie on this list. Clooney just never seemed to fit the role. Batman shouldn't be so perfectly handsome I think.

3. Adam West Batman - "Batman: The Movie", 1966

For a generation, Adam West was Batman. This was before Batman became the Dark Knight of course. West's Batman was more like the Chubby Knight. But is deadpan delivery of some of the most absurd dialogue in the character's history places him in the Top 3.

2. Christian Bale Batman - "Batman Begins", 2005; "The Dark Knight", 2008;, "The Dark Knight Rises", 2012

Probably the best overall actor on this list, Bale was just about perfect as the 'modern', darker Batman. Bale's Batman was intense, brooding, and violent. Which is exactly what the best Batman stories were all about. 

1. Michael Keaton Batman - "Batman", 1989; "Batman Returns", 1992

Back in 1989, Keaton seemed an unlikely choice to play a vigilante superhero. Better known for comic roles in movies like "Night Shift" and "Mr. Mom", somehow Keaton nailed the Batman role with a mix of dark and witty. His "I'm Batman" line sums it up the best - Keaton was Batman.

There you have it. Glad to settle an argument you possibly didn't know you were having.

You can let me know if the comments if you disagree with these rankings, but as I mentioned, you would be wrong.

Have a great weekend!

Generation X movies, ranked

I am a parent and like any self-respecting parent I spend a little bit of time each week reminding my son how much better everything was back in the day.

Today's topic where I had to re-educate my son was the movies, and since I have been in a movie frame of mind since Trish McFarlane and I recorded the HR Happy Hour Oscars Preview Show a couple of days ago, I  thought that this would be a great topic for another wildly popular 'Ranked' post. And since I am a proud member of Gen X, and I spent a good half-hour today trying to convince my Gen Z kid how great these films are, I felt compelled to share.

So without further delay, here is your authoritative, comprehensive, unresearched, highly subjective, and 100% accurate list of ' Generation X movies.' Please note, the list was compiled with consultation and input from The 8 Man Rotation crew - Matt 'akaBruno' Stollak, Kris 'KD' Dunn, Lance 'I am too young to offer meaningful input to this list' Haun, and Tim 'Diet Mt. Dew' Sackett.

Here goes...

15. The Manhattan Project (1986) - I am not sure why I liked this movie, but I did. Gen X teens steal plutonium, build an atomic bomb, and chaos ensues. Somehow it made sense in 1986.

14. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) - I have to admit to not loving this movie, but it's place in the Gen X film pantheon can't be argued. 

13. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) - Makes the list due to a later, more polished John Cusack and the plot featuring a Class of '87 High School Reunion. What is more Gen X than that?

12. Say Anything (1989) - Peak John Cusack as an identifiably Gen X young adult with no idea what he wanted to do with his life, but was pretty sure what he didn't want to do with it.

11. Wayne's World (1992) - Gen X remembers life before the web, and email, and Netflix. Two slackers make a name for themselves on the 80s version of 'user generated content' - public access cable TV. A better movie than you remember it being.

10. Pump Up The Volume (1990) - Christian Slater revisits the 'New kid in town who is going to show the locals what's what' routine in this good, but not as good as 'Heathers' movie. But Slater is so Gen X he manages to make it work.

09. Trainspotting  (1996) - released maybe a little late to make a 'Gen X' list, but a remarkable movie with fantastic performances from Ewan McGregor and Robert Carlyle 

08. Clerks (1994) - One of Gen X's best-known writers and directors Kevinn Smith with his classic look at the lives of a couple of prototypical Gen X slackers. 

07. War Games (1983) - Some inventive and (mostly) ignored kids somehow manage to hack into a US Department of Defense computer system and unwittingly put the world on the brink of WWIII. For Gen X kids that were left alone for ages of time by their working/divorced parents it somehow made sense.

06. Boyz n the Hood (1991) - Great cast, great performances and a gritty story set in the inner city that was mostly overlooked in the movies of this era. 

05. Swingers (1996) - Another 'older' Gen X movie, but featuring Gen X icon Vince Vaughn at his most Vince Vaughnian. Super movie.

04. The Breakfast Club (1985) - One of the older movies on this list, but resonated with probably everyone who was in high school between 85 and 90. Every character in the film had a counterpart in every high school in America. 

03. Heathers (1988) - As great a look into the Gen X high school experience, (perhaps less all the murder), that there was in the movies of that era. Gen X hero Christian Slater probably at his peak as well.

02. Reality Bites (1994) - Winona Ryder goes back-to-back on the list in what many folks think was the quintesstial Gen X wrestling with adulthood movie. Only a pretty whiny and annoying Ethan Hawke keeps this film for competing for the top slot.

01. Singles (1992) - Set in the grunge-era Seattle of the early 90s, and with Pearl Jam appearing as the musicians in Matt Dillon's band, this movie pretty much hits all of the right notes for what became Gen X's signature cultural contribution. 

Of course you can disagree with these rankings, but of course you would be wrong.

Happy Sunday!